TRÜPOST 009Oh, This Crazy Life!
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I will help you.” ~ Isaiah 41:13 RSV
It was all so complicated….this week filled with such raw emotions that I felt myself losing the direction that I needed to go. On Wednesday, I drove with confidence out of Omaha to quickly find myself face to face with flashing lights and a sign “Road Closed”. I made a right turn, only to here my GPS continue to say, “make a u turn”. As I pulled over to the side of the road, I began to cry. Life had just gotten crazy………
Last week I had introduced you to the acronym, PEARS. And this week, through my blog, I was going to discuss the letter, “E”. Little did I know that the “E” which stands for emotions, would truly be tested. And not just me, but my family, my community of Saint Edward, and my state of Nebraska.
First let me say, that without my routine of drinking Trüronia, I would of never endured the physical aspects that were required of me this past week. My ability to physically perform, allowed me to deal with my emotions in a healthy way. And that is key, when such devastation hits.
Early Monday morning, I drove my parents to Omaha. My dad was scheduled for a biopsy to determine the bladder mass that was discovered the week before. My dad is 83 years old and this would be only his second surgery…..crazy! He was nervous, and as I watched him interact with the doctors, I saw a man that was helpless and fearful. He trusted me to help maneuver him through this maze of questions. The procedure was completed, however due to continued bleeding, my dad had to be admitted to the hospital. At 9:00 p.m., my mom and I were finally able to check into a nearby hotel. The next day, dad looked good and I spent the day watching basketball, walking him through the halls, and listening to stock market advise……ok may be I just nodded like I was listening! The bleeding continued, so another day in the hospital was added to his “outpatient procedure”.
By Wednesday, my brothers and I had talked numerous times and really prepared for the worse. As the doctor came to do her rounds, she announced that the pathology report showed an aggressive bladder cancer. There it was……cancer……hitting my family again. The emotions that day were raw. There was anger, confusion, fear, sadness, and disbelief. I grabbed my dad’s hand and told him, “I hate that you have to battle cancer, but if your daughter can do it, you can as well.” I left the room to allow my parents time alone. I walked to the cancer center and sat on the bench I had sat on a thousand times over the past four years. I am not that emotionally close to my dad, he really never verbalized feelings, praise, or emotions as I grew up. I always knew he was proud of me, even though I have never heard the words. Expressing emotions tend to be hard, unless you grow up exposed to someone who identifies and expresses them. I did not, but I made sure my children did.
As I sorted out my emotions related to the cancer news, my phone rang letting me know that my favorite small town, the one I call home was being flooded. I knew that dad would be in the hospital for several days because his body continued to bleed, so I traveled home to get prepared.
Wednesday afternoon as I ventured home, the roads were beginning to be closed. The fog was crazy in some areas that I had to use my flashers. I was an emotion mess, as I was still wrapping my head around dad’s diagnosis, the look on my parent’s face and the need to get home. As I pulled into our farm, water had already taken out the west bridge and my community of St.Edward was drowning……the emotions of helplessness took over. My emotions were like the river…..out of control!
Emotions are a crazy thing. We all have them and with each situation in our life, we experience them. If we are on overload, several things happen……our mind starts to race so we can’t sleep, we inappropriately let them verbally fly, we stuff them causing health problems, or we get physical. As the water surrounded our farm, my husband and I made an evacuation plan. We already knew our little house and garage in town were flooded and we could not get there until the water receded. I physically began placing important items to our second floor and took things out of the basement. I was so overwhelmed already, that there was not a lot of room for more emotions. At 3:30 a.m. on Thursday morning the water receded. I know this because every hour, my husband and I went outside and checked the handmade markers.
As we entered out town Thursday, the emotions once again too ahold of me. I saw the devastation that occurred and knew the days that were about to be faced. My community is strong and resilient. We rely on each other and it is truly of hard working, kind, and stubborn kind of bunch. The church, the nursing home, and fire hall were now a refuge for those that had to be evacuated. I saw a wide array of emotions on people’s faces as they trampled across water and mud to discover what the raging waters had left behind. I saw grown men cry and become choked up as they discussed their loss. I hugged community members and saw kids covered in mud from helping. And I saw compassion in the eyes of the servers of meals, exhaustion in the eyes of the firefighters, caring in the eyes of the volunteers and determination in the eyes of those that lost homes or businesses. City hall was filled with emotions of survival.
Each picture told a story. And the story continued as more Nebraska communities begin to be impacted by the rivers around them. Families lost livestock, entire homes, businesses, precious belongings and even lives. There were cries of heartache and cheers of celebration as people were rescued. The range of emotions felt by Nebraska people was intense and impacted people across this great nation. Nebraska is a state of doers, not takers, so be patient with our people as it is hard to learn to ask for help!
When emotions are all over the place, and helplessness seems to be the top emotion, in my opinion there are four things to do…… get physically exhausted by cleaning, volunteer to help others, start talking, or get praying. I decided to do all four!
As I close my blog this week, I leave you with this…….you can not take a person any further than you have gone…….I will help my dad fight cancer, I will will scrub mud out of my life, I will help my neighbor, I will share my feelings, and I will pray that God will remain steadfast in the lives of all that are emotionally broken.
The company of Trüronia also are doing all four things. They are a Nebraska built company focused on the principles that are ingrained in the best of each of us. Stay STRONG Nebraska as you are not alone!
Gina Baker has been battling Stage 3 ovarian cancer since 2014. She is a farm wife, mother, grandmother, and a mental health therapist. She is a blogger for Trüronia and can be reached at TruPost@Truronia.com
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